…content

What does it mean to be content? When you look it up in the dictionary it declares contentment to be ‘a state of peaceful happiness.’ In this sense, I am most certainly content.

I know this is a strange claim amidst the biggest global threat to our way of life in living memory, but it’s the truth. In this exact moment, I have everything I need: my husband, my health, family, friends, home, garden and the time to do what I love most – write.

Yes, my client work vanished overnight and our financial situation is precarious, to say the least, but I’ve finally come to accept that there isn’t a huge amount that I can do about that right now.

This lesson was reinforced yesterday when my car died again. It’s only the battery but as it’s under warranty the AA isn’t able to change it, so I have no choice but to wait for the dealership to open again. Another reminder to wait and be still.

I imagine this must be what it feels like to be in the eye of a tornado. I had to battle my way through the storm to get here, sick with fear, battered, bruised and let down by the bureaucracy of it all, but now that I’m here, I’m remarkably calm.

I feel as if that whirling tempest has ripped away everything that wasn’t needed in my life. All those old stories we tell about ourselves about who we think we are. All of those things we think we need but don’t. All that’s left are the things that make my heart sing.

As we were walking our beloved old dogs the other day I said to my husband, ‘If all we ever have is this, then I’m happy.’ That’s when I realised the true meaning of contentment.

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