…mindful

Over the years I’ve tried so hard to cultivate a meditation habit. I went to classes but stopped when I realised that paying a tenner a time to fall asleep on the floor of the village hall was a bit of a waste.

I’ve tried tapes (yes, we’re going back a bit!), apps and books but nothing really stuck. When mindfulness became popular, I hoped that would be ‘my thing’, but the truth is I find quietening my little brain a massive challenge. In the end, I just gave up trying.

During the dark months after my mum’s death, distraction was my best friend. I spent a fortune on audiobook subscriptions because I was constantly on the go but never felt safe enough to be left alone in my own thoughts. I hated my own story so much I wanted to be permanently in someone else’s, even that of a fictional character. Listening to stories was my lifeline.

What I’ve noticed during this crisis however, is that after my initial wall-climbing panic about work, my chattering brain is so much quieter. I can garden again with only birdsong for company. I can clean the house, go shopping and walk the dogs in the contented company of my own thoughts. It’s not quite meditation, but it is a level of stillness I’ve not experienced for a very long time and I think, a step in the right direction.

It’s not about doing or having…it’s all about being

3 thoughts on “…mindful”

  1. Sometimes I think mindfulness is a personal thing, which means what may work for one person won’t work for another. Knowing you, gardening would be your version of mindfulness. It’s about being in the moment and enjoying being there, which you do with gardening 🙂 you’re rocking it! Love you x

  2. I agree with Hannah, and NDW does too. Going for a walk. climbing a tree, drawing, playing an instrument – all can settle the mind without ‘trying’. I like to gaze out on a vista or walk in the woods. Of course parachuting can focus the mind too. 🙂

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